You've made it past those few awkward first dates and now it’s time to settle down in the familiarity of a comfortable relationship. Well, almost time. First you have to meet the most important person in your significant other’s life, and it’s not his or her mother. I am referring to the best friend. He or she is the one person who has been there through every family death, breakup, makeup, and tragic event in your new love interest’s life. This person is going to be difficult to impress. So my first piece of advice would be to not even try.
It might be your first instinct to meet the best friend and immediately try to be overly affectionate or a little too complimentary when it comes to your latest significant other. Completely ignore this inclination toward excessive affection because the friend will see right through it. Instead, be comfortable and casual. Show that you are interested, but keep your distance. The best friend will see that your feelings are sincere, and that will definitely win you a few points.
Go with the flow. When you are putting together that first group outing, plan a trip that everyone will enjoy. Don’t make it too obvious. For instance, if the best friend is a huge baseball fan, don’t show up with your face painted, sporting his or her favorite team’s jersey and three tickets. Instead plan a trip to the local sports bar to enjoy a pizza and a pitcher of beer. Make an effort to engage in conversation with the best friend. Stick to innocuous topics of conversation such as the weather or movies. Avoid hot button issues like politics and religion. The last thing you want to do is offend the best friend. Lose his or her favor and your new boyfriend of girlfriend’s affections will not be too far behind.
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Don’t attempt to understand their language. It’s the same way with all close friends. They have inside jokes, special little sayings, and nonsensical utterings that only this one group can understand. Don’t walk into the situation and immediately assume that you are a part of this history. During college I was a member of a tight knit group of girls and each time one of us brought a boy into the mix the rest of the group became very territorial. So tread lightly for the first few weeks. Ask the best friend to tell you some embarrassing stories about your boyfriend or girlfriend’s checkered past. The two of you can bond over a good laugh at your love interest’s expense.
Most importantly, just relax and be yourself. For better or for worse that is the best person you could possibly be. If the best friend won’t accept you, at least you have the comfort of knowing you were a genuine individual. If this costs you the relationship, it’s probably for the best. You don’t want to date anyone who is so easily influenced by their peers anyway.
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