Planning a wedding is a lot of work. It can even become a full time job if you let it, that’s part of the reason you have wedding attendants. Those bridesmaids and groomsmen who stand beside you as you say "I do" are supposed to help you through the process whether that means putting together favors, stamping invitations or listening to you vent frustrations. Choosing your wedding attendants should be simple but sometimes things complicate the matter and end up making your wedding day a headache when it should be a fairytale dream. These tips on how to choose your wedding attendants will help you prevent making common mistakes which can cause you unnecessary drama.

Discuss your candidates:
Talk with your future spouse about everyone you’re considering and vice versa. It’s important to discuss your potential people to make sure there won’t be any conflicts and just to get an idea of who may be hanging around more often in the coming months. This ensures there won’t be any surprises either way that you’ll have to deal with later. Most people choose their best friend to be their maid of honor or best man and fill in the rest of the roles with additional friends, siblings or other relatives such as cousins.

Even out the numbers:
Most weddings have an equal number of bridesmaids as groomsmen. While it’s not required it does work out better and make things look more equal in photos. You don’t have to be perfectly even but you don’t really want nine bridesmaids and only one groomsmen, that’s just silly. Also consider the size of the wedding as a whole. If you’re planning a small wedding of 50-75 people then it makes no sense whatsoever to have five attendants on each side. That’s a large majority of your total invited guests. Try to keep the numbers somewhat in line with the total number of those invited so half your guests aren’t standing beside you. A good rule of thumb to use is one attendant (on each side, so one bridesmaid and one groomsmen) for every fifty or so guests.

Think about expenses:
Weddings are quite costly. Take this into consideration when choosing your attendants. If it’s a destination wedding and you have a friend you know won’t be able to afford to make it then you might not want to ask them to be in the wedding as they’ll feel obligated to go and stress out over their financial situation. Money is a touchy subject so be tactful in how you approach others about being involved in your big day. If there will be any extravagant costs you should inform them of this ahead of time so they can decide whether or not they’ll be able to partake in the wedding from the start so things aren’t complicated later.

StarReviews Top 3 Wedding Planning Websites

1) The Knot

2) Brides.com

3) InStyle Weddings

Compare All Wedding Planning Websites

Family matters:
Weddings are emotional. They are about more than two people, but the merging of two families as well and all the individuals in those families. That’s why it’s traditional to include the immediate family members in some role of the process. If you’re close to your siblings it’s probably best to include them in the wedding party. If not then you may still want to involve them but in another aspect such as by asking them to do a reading, release butterflies or doves, oversee the guest book sign in or help as an escort for the grandparents. The same goes for in-laws. You are not obligated to include your future spouse’s siblings on your side, it’s something you should both discuss. If the groom and his sister aren’t close then the bride shouldn’t be pressured to make her a bridesmaid. Instead ask her to be part of the ceremony but in a different role as just discussed. Avoid family drama and turmoil by including the immediate family but know that they don’t have to be members of the wedding party if you’d rather they not be. It’s your day and you should have things your way but don’t cause a feud over family matters, it’s just not worth the hassle.